Building My Cocoon

Hi Lovelies,

It’s so nice to meet you. I’m very excited to be a part of the new Coffee with Cerys community and to get to know you! Writing isn’t something I’ve really done before, but 2026 is a year of new challenges for me so I’m diving right in!

A lot has changed in my life recently, and I’m learning who I am on my own for the first time in a while. I’d love for you to join me on this journey. I have no idea what it’s going to look like yet, but I know it’ll be much better with you along for the ride.

Building my cocoon

I’ve always been an all-or-nothing kind of girl. I love to challenge myself, but for a long time I thought it had to be extreme for it to count. I once decided I would bounce on a trampoline for four hours straight for Comic Relief, only for my jelly legs to collapse beneath me the moment I stepped off the bouncy surface and onto solid ground. Or there was the phase where I convinced myself I had to complete 1,000 sit-ups every single day, no excuses. Any free time I had was spent searching for somewhere private and hygienic enough to lie down and squeeze in another 50, inching closer to my goal.

As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, these stories make a bit more sense to me now. They help explain why so many of my attempts at self-improvement, learning, and habit-forming were short-lived and rarely fruitful, sound familiar? I instinctively wanted to break out of my cocoon and spread my wings overnight, without accounting for the slow, often uncomfortable metamorphosis that needs to happen first.

Over time, I started to realise that meaningful change doesn’t come from grand gestures, it comes from very small starting points. For me, that starting point was squatting while brushing my teeth.

I had fallen out of love with myself, my life, and most of the people around me. I was in a very low place, and I knew something needed to change. I’d spent years trying to make big, sweeping changes and repeatedly failing. Through reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, I began to see how tiny, almost unnoticeable changes, repeated consistently, could quietly compound and change the direction of your life.

I hadn’t exercised in a long time, even though I desperately wanted to. I could always find a reason not to, so instead I tried James’ idea of “habit stacking”. Each morning, the moment my toothbrush went into my mouth, I would squat. (I learned it helps to pinpoint the exact moment a habit begins.) The first morning I did one squat, the next morning two, then three, and so on. By day 20, my legs hurt enough that I decided to stick to 15 each morning.

Even on the days when I’d had a rough night’s sleep and could barely muster the energy to open my eyes, you know the ones, I knew that once my toothbrush was in my mouth, I had to squat, and so I did.

For the first time in years, I felt confident that when I told myself I was going to do something, I could actually follow through. I started to remember how good those endorphins feel, how they gently carry you through the rest of your day. Naturally, I wanted more.

So I added more, slowly. I rediscovered my love for mindfulness and meditation and signed myself up for an eight-week mindfulness course. I dipped my toe into the exercise-class waters with a gentle yoga and meditation session, which absolutely terrified me. I’d imagined everyone there would be in skin-tight yoga pants, casually folding themselves in half with their legs behind their heads. They weren’t. And they couldn’t.

I began making it a weekly ritual to visit my favourite spot by the beach, watching the waves roll in and out, mesmerised by the patterns they left behind in the sand. I started pulling over in my car just to admire a glowing sunset or a rising moon, feeling quietly grateful that I got to witness something so beautiful.

For me, doing that single squat on the first day felt like the flap of a butterfly’s wings, a tiny movement that slowly carried me out of depression and towards a more peaceful, loving, and joyful life. Before that moment, I don’t think I would have even noticed the sun in the sky, nevermind admired it!

I’m learning that I don’t have to go big or go home, and maybe you don’t either. Sometimes taking one small step in the right direction, and gently repeating it the next day, is enough to guide you back home to yourself.

If you’re in a season of starting over, I’d love to know: what’s one small, gentle reset that’s helping you right now? Let’s keep the conversation going, pop the kettle on and share your thoughts.

Meet Bex👋🏻

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Hey, I’m Bex! I’m 33, recently single, and navigating life with newly diagnosed ADHD while exploring mindfulness to stay grounded. I love finding joy in little things - cooking, baking, and admiring sunsets by the sea.

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