Adulting Is Hard: Tips To Make Friends In Your 20’s
Making friends as an adult compared to when you’re a child are two completely different experiences. As a child I remember so many situations where one child would go up to another, announce that they were now friends and that was that – friendship created! I’m not so sure that this would go down as well as an adult…
One thing that I’ve learnt as an adult tying to navigate adult friendships is that low maintenance is best. And this has proved to work for me and my friends, especially during the pandemic. The number of posts that I saw that had variations of “the pandemic has shown who your real friends are. If you didn’t reach out to me this year, don’t bother…” Just no!! Many of us experienced something that we’ve never had to before. Our lives were flipped upside down and we had to focus on getting through. Do not make your friends feel bad if they didn’t reach out during a difficult time! Also, did you reach out to them? Friendships work both ways. Stop putting so much pressure on your friends!
The pandemic also showed me how important good friends are. Generally, my friends & I did make more of an effort to communicate with each other, but it was also lovely to know that there was no pressure from either side. We were there for each other when we needed it.
I’m going to split this post up into 2 parts; how to make friends and how to keep friends. Both are important and obviously work together.
I hope you find this post helpful.
How To Make Friends As An Adult
1. Push Yourself Out Of Your Comfort Zone
As obvious as it sounds, if you’re not putting yourself out there and experiencing new things and meeting new people – how are you going to make new friends? Whether that’s joining a book club, attending Zumba classes or any other group hobby; there are so many different ways to meet like-minded people.
2. Reach Out To Your Neighbours
Growing up in a village in Wales everyone knew everyone. There was never an issue with knocking on your neighbour’s door for a chat. I don’t really get that feeling anymore. This may be because I’m living in a city, but I really miss it! We’ve recently moved house and we’ve chatted a few times to some of our neighbours & I can already feel that sense of community again.
It doesn’t always have to be anything major, but it’s good to look out for those around you.
3. Speak To Your Colleagues
Now, I know a few people who are completely against being friends with people they work with. And as much as I get where they’re coming from, most people spend so much of their lives in work that it’s an easy/obvious place to create friendships. I’ve made some fabulous friends through work, and I’d be lost without them!
Tips To Keep Your Friendships Thriving
1. Message Them Whenever You Think About Them
Sometimes you’ll be doing something, and it’ll make you think of your friend. When this happens, just send them a message. It doesn’t need to be anything major, but it shows your friend that you care.
2. Give Each Other A Break
As mentioned, it’s so important to not put too much pressure on your friends. Life is busy and sometimes other things need to take priority. That doesn’t mean that you or your friends care about each other any less.
3. Communicate Your Needs
Even though life is busy and not all of your friends can be there at a drop of a hat like they used to be, it’s still important to communicate what you want out of your friendship (this may be different depending on the friend). Communication is one of the most important parts of any relationship that you have. If you don’t communicate your expectations, boundaries etc, how are other people meant to know what you want/need from them?
4. Think About Yours & Your Friends’ Love Languages
In a recent ‘Weekly Wonders’ we talked a little bit about love languages. I am planning a whole post dedicated to working with your love language. This relates to the above point. But if you love language is quality time, then communicate this to your friends. Or if your friends love language is receiving gifts, then think about surprising your friend and sending them a sentimental gift – often it’s the little things that means the most.
Making & maintaining adult friendships can be hard. But if you truly cherish your friends you will find a way through.
And if any of my friends are reading this, here is your reminder that I am always here for you!!
I hope you found this post helpful – let me know your thoughts and extra tips in the comments below.
Cerys x
